I’ve decided that writing is kind of like eating. Twitter reminds me grabbing a piece of toast as you run out the door – it’s really fast and easy when you’re on the run, but doesn’t really fill you up. Facebook posts are like eating at McDonalds. There’s a little more substance there, you know in your heart that it’s not good for you, but it is pretty quick and easy, and when your life is moving fast, you can survive on it. Writing in a blog for me is more like a really good home cooked meal. It’s more planned out. It is normally pretty nutritionally good for you. Most of all, it takes time to prepare, and time to digest.
It’s the whole “slow-food-vs-fast-food” idea. So much of life is a blur – so many commitments, so little time. Communication is limited to those 140 character tweets, or the slightly more generous 420 characters that Facebook allows in their posts. The absolutely wonderful thing about writing in a blog is the absence of limits. I can put down the thoughts as they flow, and not worry about having to drastically edit my words to meet the limitations of social media. It’s a clean kitchen with full cupboards, refrigerator and freezer – let the cooking begin!
It’s been 21 months since I last posted anything in my blog. Where did all of that time go? I look back and see what life was like then compared to now. So many changes in a what seems like a short period of my life. My son had just moved out a few months before, and I was experiencing the weirdness that comes from having one of your own leave the nest. I’m happy to see that he’s doing well on his own. Since that time, our oldest daughter has followed suit, leaving us with a foursome here at home. Ginger went back to work for a time, and is now back at home. Kai went from being homeschooled, switched back to the Co-op school for a year, then when it shut down, he started high school at Alliance Charter Academy in Oregon City. Carolyn continues to go to school and babysit. Kind of normal transitions in life, you might say. But then, a year ago I went through a big one; the kind of change that forces one to reevaluate everything in their life.
On November 25th, 2010. I was fired from a job that I held for 29 years. Even typing that sentence brings a hint of discomfort. There are so many feelings that come with that statement. Guilt over screwing up. Frustration with myself for not following my values (Romans 7:15 definitely applies here!). Shame in facing my former co-workers. Anger with myself in losing a job that provided very well for my family. In 29 years, you build up some pretty decent benefits; all gone.
First, let me explain. As manager of a large retail store, I was responsible for a multitude of things, many involving paperwork. The standard joke was always that we were expected to be able to juggle fifteen balls, but could only reasonably juggle twelve, so you had to pick which ones were mot crucial, and do the best you could with the rest. Unfortunately, as we approached the very busy holiday season, I chose to put down one of the balls, and sign off that it had been completed. My choice cost me my career.
The purpose of this post is not to relive the past; it is more of a “State Of The Dave” report; where has that fateful decision left me, just one year later? What have I learned from this experience? I think it’s crucial to take the time to document the experience. As George Santayana said in his book Reason in Common Sense, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it". I did attempt to do my best on Facebook to convey the journey, but once again, 420 characters doesn’t cover it…
"It was a year ago today that I had a major shakeup in my life. This past year has shown me very clearly just how much I have to be thankful for! God loves me in spite of my faults and failures, and sent his son to pay the price for them. That should be enough, but he's also given me an AMAZING wife...loving kids...great extended family and church family...a new job where I love what I do and feel appreciated every day. I am so blessed, and very thankful today and every day."
So, back to the original question – what have I learned from my experience? The next few blog posts will attempt to cover the last year – the journey through pain and grief; the lessons learned, and the things that I want to never forget. Feel free to follow along or not as you see fit.
