I Cannot Do This Alone

My small group at church is using the Mosaic Bible as a study guide each week. Along with the New Living Translation of the Bible, the Mosaic Bible contains weekly bible readings, devotionals and artwork from a variety of sources and eras, all based around the church calendar. This week’s readings are a part of the Lent season, and focused on our dependence on God. One of the readings was written by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and could be best categorized as a perfect snapshot of where I am right now. I read it once, then twice, and again and again. I know that the trials in my life are nothing compared to what he went through, but I can definitely feel the cares of the day getting in the way of my relationship with God. I need to remember that as he said, I cannot do it alone.


I Cannot Do This Alone

O God, early in the morning I cry to you.
Help me to pray
And to concentrate my thoughts on you:
I cannot do this alone.

In me there is darkness,
But with you there is light;
I am lonely, but you do not leave me;
I am feeble in heart, but with you there is help;
I am restless, but with you there is peace.
In me there is bitterness, but with you there is patience;
I do not understand your ways,
But you know the way for me…

Restore me to liberty,
And enable me to live now
That I may answer before you and before me.
Lord, whatever this day may bring,
Your name be praised.

A Life That Is Not My Own

It’s been said that you can’t really understand a love song until you fall in love. Then, as if a filter has been lifted, you suddenly feel all of the emotions in each song, and find yourself singing along. I think that’s true with any song that characterizes a particular period in your life. You don’t have a real understanding until you’ve been through it.

We’ve entered a new phase in the Clausen household, as our oldest son has moved out on his own. Fortunately, we are on good terms, and we continue to see him occasionally. However, part of that new phase is the start of the empty nest syndrome. It’s odd to have someone who has been part of your household for 20 years suddenly no longer a part of that daily life. It is not easy to explain. However, like love, sometimes a song suns it up best. Bob Bennett has always been a favorite artist of mine; an amazing guitarist and skillful songwriter. I’ve always liked this song, but now that I am feeling the emotions he was feeling when he wrote it, it takes on an even greater meaning.

A LIFE THAT IS NOT MY OWN
Bob Bennett
© 2001 Bright Avenue Songs (ASCAP)

This is my Father's world
I trust these days are in His plan
I am my Father's child
He holds my life in loving hand
I cry out loud, He shares my tears
I'm so afraid, He calms my fears
O Lord, I offer up these many years
Of a life that is not my own

This child is a gift to me
Though he must grow away, apart
I never knew that God and I
Could share a tender father's heart
And when the distance is too hard to bear
When it's so painful to love and to care
May I be grateful for the time that I could share
In a life that is not my own
A life that is not my own

We will sleep under the same moon tonight
We will walk under the same sun tomorrow
Someday to gather in our one true home
Where no goodbyes can cause this kind of sorrow

This is my Father's world
With all the questions it can bring
I am my Father's child
Though I am broken, I can sing
Of all the things that He has done
A Father offering up His Son
And a life like mine that has become
A life that is not my own